On not being enough...
As this part of the internet seems hidden from most eyes, I feel it more liberating to write free-range here than any other platform. I purposefully delayed writing during my pregnancy because for most of it (probably 2/3 of it), I admittedly wasn't "in" it. This is crazy, especially when I think back on the luxury (time! we were rolling in it!) of open space and reflection it afforded. But it's that tricky thing - Fear - insidious and deceptive - that continuously robbed me of what was THERE. Every week, old fears (disguised as anxieties over "new" events) would surface and had me on a mental hamster wheel of thoughts, comprised mainly of the following: "How can we survive this?" "If I can't pull myself together, what does that mean for LO?" Having binge-watched many of the "alta" vloggers that peppered IG and Youtube to "prepare" in my spare time didn't help either. The glam / breastfeeding/ baby-wearing/ b